Thursday, July 12, 2012

Wasting Time

When you have finished reading this, stand up, turn around and leave the room. The building you are in, leave it. Get into the street and turn left. Walk for about ten minutes until you come to a right turn. Take it and walk down this road until you see a lane way on the left hand side. Go down this lane. It kicks to the left a little but keep going and you should see ahead of you an old, dirt-blackened, red-brick wall. The bright orange, panelled timber door looks completely out of place but it should be unlocked, just push it open and go inside. Ahead of you is a wide, stone staircase. Climb it, seven flights, to the very top. Pass through the low arch ahead of you and go over to the shadowy shape in the corner. Pull off the mildewed, canvas dust cover. It's a time-machine. Climb in. Set the time to about an hour before you started reading this blog and pull the lever. Now, climb out of the time-machine and, as quickly as you can, retrace your steps to the room you are currently sitting in and wait for yourself from the past to show up so that you can warn yourself not to waste any more time reading this shit.


  1. Funny that, my next blog post will deal with a wormhole and the consequences of such self meeting tomfoolery.

    ...but then, perhaps you already know that and I'll meet you later in the week and you'll give me the idea.

    ...but then, how do I already know that's what my next post is going to be?

    Will I be travelling back to the past and telling you to give me the idea in the future?

  2. No time like the present: (but you can always watch it in the future).

  3. Ooh, that's an interesting one that one. They're all going up on the Youtube.

  4. Intriguing, thanking you Mister Robbins, I'll be checking that out last week later on.

    As for you Fugger, I had to postpone our appointment until next Tuesday but you won't get the memo until last Thursday. My apologies, my pocket moleskine diary isn't built for this disrupted continuum stuff.